76ers Release Team

Christmas List

      League sources have acquired a copy of the official Philadelphia 76ers' team Christmas list to Santa. The list was not surprisingly short and to the point.

     Dearest Mr. Santa Clause,

                              

                 As you may or may not know, our season is not exactly off to a great start.  We all have everything we can ask for in terms of material possessions. We have countless sports cars, mansions, supermodel wives, fine leather goods, and apparel. But, the one thing we want, escapes us. We all, as a part of the Philadelphia 76ers organization, desperately want one thing, and one thing only, this holiday season. We want to win a basketball game. We know that you can’t bring this down the chimney, wrap it in a beautiful box and place it under the Christmas tree. All we ask is please, please Santa, please can you help us in any way possible? And get us a win for Christmas.

              Sincerely,

                            The Philadelphia 76ers Organization

Please Santa, please.

The Real Reason Pablo Sandoval 

Came to Boston

        The Biggest sports story on Tuesday the 25th was when Hanley Ramirez and Pablo Sandoval, the Panda, signed with the Boston Red Sox. Sure, we know why Hanley Ramirez signed with Boston, because that was the team he started his career. But no one knows why Pablo Sandoval came to Boston. 

        Ok, we all know Pablo Sandoval’s famous nickname, the Panda. But according to league sources they think he might actually be part panda. For example, he signed a 5-year/$95 million contract with the Red Sox. But the other part is the city of Boston is planting a bamboo forest with real pandas right outside the stadium, just for him. Later this week the mayor of the city will give the "key" to the Mystical Bamboo Baseball Forest.  It’s 96 acres of pure bamboo! And there will be a panda "Field of Dreams" with bamboo bases, bats, and balls plus more.

Also, guess what number he picked on the Red Sox? 96! 
You know how there is a bubble gum bin in the dugout? Well, they replaced that with bamboo. Even today at practice Big Poppy tasted some and loved it! Now the whole team is in love with bamboo. Also, Dustin Pedroia was at the forest, interacting with a panda and harvesting some crops and then eating it on the Green Monster. And if you can believe it, he has as a part of his contract. He is required to be able to keep his “family” around him during travel. His family is a family of 6 pandas. He said in a press conference, “If we win the championship, pandas on me!” Then Big Poppy said, “I need 3, dude.”  Then The Panda said, “Not in the budget, because I bought stock in twelve different bamboo companies, and own a panda habitat in 17 different locations. Now with $95 million he said he was going to buy a panda theme house in Shaanxi, Central China after retirement it’ll be a full-time job.

      Well, as we can see, the Panda didn’t move to Boston because of winning a championship or success. Because of the habitat and for the love of pandas.